[recording starts]

[We Love Us theme plays]

Lard: "(Sings along then cheers and claps)

Mark: "Very good start to the week on the backing vocals there. We Love Us, radio's toppermost quiz for proper pop stars out of proper pop groups, and all this week we are playing with Radiohead and on the line to us should be Jonny Greenwood. Jonny!

Jonny: "Mark!

Mark: "How are ya?!

Jonny: "Alright, mate

Mark: "Yeah, good. Now listen, I'm expecting big things of you, because like everybody always comes on this and says “oh, I'm dead sleepy”, you know, and all that, but you get up quite early, don't you?

Jonny: "Yeah, I've been up for a bit, yeah

Mark: "Yeah, there you go. I heard you got up early and went kite flying?

Jonny: "Er...possibly

Mark: "Yeah, you do that, don't you? (JG laughs) in the fields around Oxfordshire somewhere, don't you?

Jonny: "If it's windy enough

Mark: "Mmm, alright, yeah, ok. Now then, what's this arm brace you're wearing at the moment? What's that all about?

Jonny: "I've got that...this injury that kind of typists get, and I've got it, bizarrely, and it...

Mark: "You've got what? RSI?

Jonny: "Yeah, something like that

Mark: "Have you?!

Jonny: "Yeah (laughs)

Mark: "Alright, so it's not a kind of rock star affectation when you come in with your arm all lashed up then?

Jonny: "I don't think so, I haven't got a leather one (MR laughs), it's just a sort of medical one

Mark: "(laughs) Right, ok, fair enough then. Are you still going to wear those big headphone things when you play in September?

Jonny: "Yeah, I think so

Mark: "I mean is that an affectation, or do you need those to...have you got hearing difficulties?

Jonny: "Yeah well my ears started bleeding at the end of the last tour...

Mark: "Oooooh!!

Jonny: "Which wasn't very cool...

Mark: "Ooooh, god

Lard: "You're not a well bunny, are you?

Jonny: "Not at the moment, no

Lard: "Ohhh, dear

Mark: "You're not cut out for show-business, are you, Jonny?

Jonny: "Maybe I should come and do radio, or something

Mark: "Yeah, that's a doddle, that's the soft option, that'd be absolutely fine. Er...right then, now...actually someone called Adrian has faxed us in, and he's suggested a question, 'cos he reckons he's got the original demo to Creep, he said

Jonny: "Oh, no...

Mark: "I'm not going to ask you it, but do you know... I'm interested in what the original line was instead of “You float like a feather in a beautiful world”

Jonny: "Er, I believe it was something like “shoulder in the pan”

Mark: "Yeah, that's right

Jonny: "“Holding a leg of lamb”

Mark: "Yeah, exactly, he said it was “a leg of lamb, holding a shoulder in the pan”, and this Adrian says he lives near you, and he wants you to win, then he can share the foot-spa

Jonny: "Aw, bless him

Mark: "Ah, but anyway that's not a question, right we're going to go with the real questions now

Jonny: "Go on then

Mark: "Are you ready?

Jonny: "Yep

Mark: "Ok then, fair do's, here we go: Which pop chanteuse wrote an article about the band, and stated “I'm the kind of person who had a different favourite song every week. This week it's Fake Plastic Trees. I remember being moved by the video, but the song just left me speechless”, someone wrote that in The Independent, another artiste. Who might that be?

Jonny: "It wouldn't be Alan Morris, would it? Alanis Morissette

Mark: "It would indeed!

Lard: "Yay!!!! (bangs a drum)

Mark: "It would indeed be Alanis Vinaigrette

Jonny: "(laughs)

Mark: "Right, here we go: Now, who did the artwork on your latest single sleeve, Paranoid Android?

Jonny: "Ah, easy. That's Stanley Donwood

Mark: "Stanley Donwood

Lard: "(cheers and plays a drum roll and cymbal crash)

Mark: "Confident, you see they are bright, Radiohead, you see, we're going to have to win five foot-spas

Jonny: "The foot-spa will be mine!

Mark: "(laughs) Right, well you're doing well. Now then, you lost all your gear once, you had all your gear nicked

Jonny: "Yeah

Mark: "On tour with whom?

Jonny: "Oh, that was during Soul Asylum

Mark: "Soul Asylum

Lard: "Wahey!!! (plays drum roll and crash)

Mark: "They're too easy these, aren't they, Jonny, for you? They're too easy

Jonny: "So far...

Mark: "Now then, Phil, your drummer, what subjects does he have a degree in?

Jonny: "Oooh, good one. Errr...

Mark: "(laughs)

Jonny: "I believe it's English...

Mark: "Yep

Jonny: "And something...

Mark: "Yep

Jonny: "English, and erm...was it English and erm...Politics? No, it's something like that

Mark: "Oh!

Jonny: "From Liverpool

Mark: "Now, I've got English and History

Jonny: "History

Lard: "Oooooh!

Mark: "It was. Now, I'm going to say no points for that, because we want to leave some competition in this, you're doing very well

Lard: "He's a hard man!

Mark: "Alright, now here's another university question

Jonny: "Right

Mark: "Your Colin, right?

Jonny: "Yeah

Mark: "What did he write his thesis on, or to put it another way, his dissertation?

Jonny: "I believe it was Willa Cather

Mark: "It was what?

Jonny: "Willa Cather, the American novelist

Mark: "Well, I've got Raymond Carver here

Jonny: "Errr...I don't think that's right

Mark: "You don't think that's right?

Jonny: "Nah

Mark: "(laughs) Right ok. Well, we'll have to...right, we'll have to...I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, but we'll check it, don't you worry

Jonny: "Alright, fair enough

Lard: "Yeah!

Mark: "Don't you worry, we will check that

Jonny: "Alright, mate

Mark: "Alright, so that's three, possibly four, which is pretty good, that's a fighting start, definitely

Jonny: "Cool

Mark: "Definitely. Er...right, now then, Lard are you going to play a drum roll there?

Lard: "I was going to do, but well, he didn't do very well towards the end did he? (starts paying drums as he talks) It was a bit of a sort of anti-climax. No offense, like

Mark: "No, that's ok, good, because that is the drum roll, because you've got a question to set for the fantastic listeners, haven't you, Jonny?

Jonny: "I have, yeah

Mark: "Right, and then everybody's going to go and see you play in Barcelona, and we'll have, you know, a shandy, and perhaps a vol-au-vont

Jonny: "(laughs)

Mark: "Right, so what's the first question?

Jonny: "The question is: What's the very last word on the very last song of The Bends?

Mark: "Right, ok. Good question, isn't it? So, the very last word on the very last song of the previous album, The Bends. Alright, then, so you have to collect the answers all week, each member's going to set one, and well, everybody knows, I'm patronising everybody...well it's obvious what's happening, isn't it?

Lard: "Yeah

Mark: "It's obvious. Right, what have you got planned for today, Jonny?

Jonny: "Oh, I've got to do lots of interviews with scary French magazines

Mark: "Ooooh, oh have you? Right, ok, well best of luck to get through that, and we will see you in Barcelona

Jonny: "Brilliant

Mark: "Alright then. Jonny Greenwood from Radiohead, thanks very much indeed

Jonny: "See you then

Lard: "(cheers and claps)

Mark: "See ya! So as I say, a question each day, collect them all and write them down and send them all in, if you're over eighteen, you could go to Barcelona

(We Love Us theme plays)

Lard: "(sings along)

Mark: "Tight as a dog's bottom on the backing vocals, and here are Radiohead

[plays Paranoid Android]

[recording ends]