[recording starts]

Mark: "Radio institution for big famous pop stars and big stadium rocking acts type thing

Lard: "Yep

Mark: "Oooh, I gave that a big build-up, didn't I?

Lard: "You did a bit, yeah

Mark: "I didn't say “toppermost” or “proper” or anything like that, which is what I usually do. As you know by now, all this week, we're playing with the members of Radiohead, and today we should have Phil the drummer. Phil!

Phil: "Hello

Mark: "How are ya?

Phil: "Oooh, very excited, very excited

Mark: "Are you?! Oh, good

Phil: "I've never got through to a radio competition before

Mark: "(laughs) You know, I bet you're not excited, living the life you lead, but it's really nice of you to pretend for our benefit

Phil: "(laughs)

Mark: "Really appreciate that

Phil: "Aww, ay (laughs)

Mark: "Right, so you've been in Stockholm with big Ed, haven't you?

Phil: "Ooh, yes, yes, got back last night

Mark: "Did you?

Phil: "A very Nordic time

Mark: "A good time?

Phil: "Yeah, it was very good actually, it was all very tall and blond out there

Mark: "Right, well Ed would be alright, 'cos he's a giant, isn't he?

Phil: "(laughs) He got dwarfed

Mark: "Did you hear that before there's an international association of bald men, because you're resplendently and proudly bald, aren't you?

Phil: "(laughs)

Mark: "You know, were you aware of that institution?

Phil: "I wasn't, actually, I wasn't actually, no. It's kind of nature trying to make a...trying to tell you how you look best, I think

Mark: "Absolutely, there you go, see common sense, that's fine. Patrick, the studio audience, you've got nothing to worry about

Patrick – Thank you

Mark: "Fine. Right then, now the scores so far in this, I don't know if you've been keeping track of it, Phil, but I mean there's sort of some scores pending, really.

Phil: "Right

Mark: "Jonny has got three, possibly four, depending on what Colin says his thesis was about, and Ed's got two possibly three, depending on how tall Thom thinks he is

Phil: "Right

Mark: "Right, so we'll see if we can get you an emphatic score, you know, a score of four, I think a foot-spa would be on its way to you

Phil: "Ooooh!

Mark: "Ooh! Right, ok, are you ready?

Phil: "Okey dokey

Mark: "Alright then. What's the name of the festival that you're playing in France in July?

Phil: "Oooh, Belfort

Mark: "Belfort!!

Lard: "Yay!!! (claps)

Mark: "Is the right answer. Ok, which member of your band talks in his sleep? According to Select magazine

Phil: "Oooh, that'll be Ed

Mark: "Ed!!

Lard: "Yay!! (claps) Clever drummer!! (claps) Clever drummer!!

Mark: "Could you hear him through the walls last night? Oh, no you didn't stay over in Stockholm, did you?

Phil: "No, no

Mark: "Alright then, now it's a bit of a self aggrandisement question this for Radio 1. Which Radio 1 show announced your UK dates to the nation on April the 28th?

Phil: "Errrrrr...

Mark: "(laughs) Not fair this, is it? He might not listen...you might not listen to Radio 1

Phil: "Is it Mark Radcliffe and Lard?

Mark: "Er...no!

Lard: "We wanted 'em.

Mark: "We wanted 'em

Lard: "We wanted 'em!

Mark: "It was the Evening Session

Lard: "Awww!!

Mark: "But you can still get four, you can still get four. Who played cello on your album, The Bends?

Phil: "Caroline Lavelle

Lard: "Wahey!!!

Mark: "Indeed. Indeed, sir, right

Phil: "It's getting close

Mark: "It's getting close

Lard: "Game on!!

Mark: "One more to get. I'll give you a choice. Would you like an official Radiohead fanclub information question, or would you like a track listings question?

Phil: "Erm...I'll go for a track listings question, please

Mark: "Four, five and six tracks off Pablo Honey. Tracks four, five and six are?

Phil: "Oh, that's...oh, blimey...

Mark: "(laughs)

Phil: "Erm...

Mark: "(sings quietly) Di dum, di dum, di dum

Phil: "Would it be....Anyone Can Play Guitar?

Mark: "That's one of them. That's six. They don't have to be in the right order

Phil: "Ok

Mark: "That's one of them

Phil: "Stop Whispering

Mark: "Yeah, that's another one

Phil: "Erm...

Mark: "Come on Phil! Come on, Phil!!

Phil: "Er...Thinking About You

Mark: "Yes!!!! You got it!!!

Lard: "(cheers, claps and bangs the drums) Game on!!!

Mark: "You got it, absolutely. Phil scores a very nearly perfect four on We Love Us. That's good that

Lard: "Clever drummer

Mark: "That is very good, well done

Phil: "Ooh, thank you very much

Mark: "Right, ok, now then, you have to set a question for the listener. I should just say at this point, that you see, you collect your questions all week, and we repeat them on Friday is what we usually say, but that really counts against people who have listened all week, so it defeats the object...

Lard: "Yeah

Phil: "Ahhhh!

Mark: "I'll tell you very quickly that Jonny said: What's the last word of the last song on The Bends?, and Ed said: Who supported Radiohead on their tour last year?. That's the last time you'll hear those questions, from now on, you've got to collect each one, if you miss one, then it's tough, you're not in the quiz

Lard: "Ooooh!

Mark: "I'm a hard man, aren't I, Phil?

Phil: "Right

Mark: "Alright then (laughs). Have you got a question for us?

Phil: "I have got a question

Mark: "Ok, then

Phil: "Right: Who very first played us on Radio 1, and made us their record of the week? Was it: a) Mark Radcliffe and Lard, Gary Davies, or c) Jo Whiley and Steve Lemacq?

Lard: "Ooooh...

Mark: "Right

Phil: "Mmmm

Lard: "Ooooh...Ay!

Mark: "I don't know that, but I've got an idea, well...er...no

Lard: "You're giving a clue there!

Mark: "(laughs) I'll not say that, but er...anyway, alright. Phil, is it true that you've got a Japanese fanclub, devoted entirely to you?

Phil: "Ah, yes it is

Mark: "Is it? And what's it called, this fanclub?

Phil: "It's called the “Phil Is Great” fanclub

Mark: "(laughs)

Lard: "Phil is great!!! What a catchphrase!

Mark: "(laughs) What a great name for a fanclub! Alright, that question once again from Phil Selway. Go on, Phil

Phil: "Ok, who very first played us on Radio 1, and made us their record of the week? Was it: a) Mark Radcliffe and Lard, Gary Davies, or c) Jo Whiley and Steve Lemacq?

Mark: "Ok, great, right you collect the questions, well, you collect the answers (laughs), and you send them all in to Radiohead competition, The Breakfast Show, BBC Radio 1, Oxford Road, Manchester, M60 1SJ, and you could be going to Barcelona with us

Lard: "Woo hoo!!

Mark: "Alright, Phil, lovely talking to you

Phil: "And you

Lard: "Bye, mate!!

Mark: "And hope you win the foot-spa, score of four, it looks good. Alright, talk to you soon

Phil: "Thanks a lot

Lard: "Tatty 'bye!!

[We Love Us theme plays]

[plays Lucky]

[recording ends]